Humor | The Networking Nerd

In the spirit of Christmas, and because my wife has made me listen to the song about 400 times so far this year, I present the Twelve Days of Christmas, Networking Nerd style. To save you all the trouble of singing the whole song, we’ll just skip to day tweleve. On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, the Networking Nerd gave to me:

– Twelve character passwords

– Eleven 802.11n Access Points

– Ten Gigabit Ethernet

– Nine 9971 phones

– Eight-port switch blades

– Seven CCIE Tracks

– Six Hours in the CCIE Lab

– Five Magic Digits! (I hope…)

– Four-port FXOs

– Three Packet Pushers

– Two L2MP options

– And One Goal: To get my CCIE!

Special Thanks to JT (@WannabeCCIE) for giving me the idea for this.

Merry Christmas to all the folks out there. May your holidays be filled with joy and caring. May your families not drive you insane, and may your Christmas stocking be filled with all the goodies you asked Santa for.

“A title by any other name would stink as bad.” –Okay, it’s not Shakespeare, but it’s close.

After my little engineering diatribe, I’ve been thinking of new titles to that I can use besides engineer or rock star. Because rock star makes you sound pretentious. And I got really tired of waking up at 5 in the morning to feather my hair with a case of Aquanet. I shy away from terms like “architect” and “champion” because they may sound cool, but they convey absolutely nothing about what I do. So, I started making a list:

Director of Bailing People’s Asses Out of the Fire
Chief Google Search Officer (CGSO)
Vice President of Explaining Things to People that Don’t Understand Me
Executive Chairman of Just Buy What I Tell You and Don’t Ask Questions
President of Throwing Salesmen Under the Bus
Head of Deciphering TLAs
High Priest of Unity/Exchange Voodoo
Sergeant-at-Arms of Explaining Why Your Hair-Brained Idea Won’t Work
Chief Caffeine Consumer
Vice Regent of Solving Executive Problems RIGHT NOW!
Owner/Operator of I Told You So, INC

I think I’m going to need to get bigger business cards..

Feel free to leave some of your favorite titles in the comments. Just make sure they are descriptive about what your job title is. And for the love of all that’s holy, DON’T put “engineer”.