Making Time For Yourself


I was a recent pop-in guest on the Network Collective Holiday Show with my friends Jordan Martin and Tony Efantis. One of the questions they had been asking their guests was about the big lessons we’ve learned this year. As I thought back on the roller coaster ride that was 2020, I realized that one of the biggest lessons that I’ve learned is that I need to make time for the important things for myself.

Mark It Down

I know it sounds like a given, but we all need to make time for ourselves. I realized that when my usual schedule of running myself in overdrive and jumping from one event or travel opportunity to the next evaporated back in March. I found myself sitting at home and working toward some uncertain future. I never thought that there were going to be huge problems but I also didn’t know how things would end up turning out.

As the days grew into weeks and eventually into months, I quickly figured out that the normal I once knew was going to stay gone for quite a while. In place of that was a situation that I needed to adjust to. And that was going to to take some time. I needed to catch my breath but I also needed to build a skill set that would allow me to continue forward.

Over April and May I got better at cooking. I retaught myself the basics of making all kinds of meals. I gained the confidence of trying new things. It helped me find a bit of stability. It happened because I started doing research and setting aside time every day to practice those skills. Maybe it was something small like making tacos. Or even putting something into a slow cooker. But it was time that I needed to take to do something that I needed to learn.

The second big lesson in taking time for myself came in June. With the move of Cisco Live to a digital event an the likelihood that everything else for the rest of the year was going to go the same way, I took the opportunity to get back into better, healthier shape. I had a hard time exercising on the road with the hotel gym being something that I didn’t appreciate. I started getting up earlier and going for walks and then for short runs. Then I upped my running and my walking distances. I made sure to lace up running shoes every day no matter what. No excuses whether it was raining or blisteringly hot outside.

Taking the time to get into better shape has had a huge impact on my self worth and my health. I’ve dropped 50 pounds since March and my running times keep coming down. My pants size went down significantly and the pictures of myself that I’m taking now barely resemble pre-COVID me. All because I took the time for myself.

Make It Happen

There’s no magic in what I did. There was no special system or secrecy code to get me to where I am right now. The only trick was making the time for myself. It’s like the financial books you can buy that give you tips to put into practice to get rich. One of the first is “pay yourself”. It’s contrite but proves the point that you need to give yourself resources to work with or you’ll never get ahead.

Time is as valuable as resource as anything we have. We can’t save time and use it later. We can’t manufacture time. We can only use the time we have to the best of our abilities. Sometimes that means putting something we want to do on hold because of something we have to do. As someone that prides myself on writing lots of blog posts it meant that I had to put that particular part of my productivity behind more immediate things like getting my morning run in. It meant getting the Gestalt IT Rundown story script done before I could play a game or watch a TV show.

Time is what we make of it. I’ve started to realize that by blocking more and more of my time to do things. Maybe I put down on my calendar that Tuesday evening is a day to draw or practice a new cooking skill. Thursday morning could be my long run of the week and my day to research topics for my Tomversations videos. Whatever it is, I make it stick. I don’t need to schedule my exercise in the mornings because it’s become a habit for me. But I do need to schedule the other things to make sure they’re done. You don’t need to have a mark on every minute of your day to be productive, but you do need to make sure you make time for the pieces that are important.

That means making time for non-work things. It’s easy to fill up our calendar with things for work. It’s harder still to fill up the calendar with non-work tasks and skills. Schedule a hike on a Saturday morning. Make Monday night your night to work on a craft that you want to do like learning leather working or knife making. Maybe you just want to say that Wednesday at lunchtime is the place where you’re going to schedule time to read a few more pages of your new favorite book. There are all things that as valid as the next staff meeting or briefing that you have to do. Because they enrich you and help you become a better person.

More importantly, by scheduling these things in your calendar on a personal level you remind yourself not to let work get out of hand. When you live in the office, which is the same as working from home now, you will find yourself working at midnight some nights because you just couldn’t put the work down. By reminding yourself of what’s important you draw a bright line between work and personal and ensure that you have time to put in effort on both without getting overwhelmed.


Tom’s Take

There’s a bit of irony in me saying that you need to make time for the things that are important to you while I write this post after midnight on Christmas. The fact is that I made time earlier today for my family to open some gifts and help bake cookies. I went for a walk and watched some educational videos. Sure, I eventually found the time to write for myself but it came after I had taken care of other things. My journey through 2020 has taught me that time is the kind of resource you need to pay yourself with as often as you can. But you can’t just mark off your calendar and hope that something magical happens. You need to make the effort to use your time wisely and work on yourself. Every new skill you learn or pound you lose is making you a better, more well-rounded person. And that’s the kind of payoff that you can only get from investing time in yourself.

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